Baseball Boy (and a little Bible)

In most situations Tyson is super shy. Once he is familiar with a place, he usually opens up, but sometimes remains scared/reserved. For example, we have been going to church since he was born, but he still hides behind my skirt when an adult speaks to him. In his class, however, he is wild(bless his teachers) and happy. Preschool has helped him a lot. He has made friends and his teacher tells me that he talks and participates in the class. He talks about her all the time, yet when we saw her at a community event, he was too shy to speak.

This shyness is out of my zone. I have never felt shy and do not recall ever being afraid to participate in something.  In fact-I know it is terrible--but it makes me mad! You may remember our Santa visit--waiting for hours--he refuses to speak to him. Mad! He is even this way with family memebers. Embarrased!Not wanting to open birthday presents. Confused! (Don't judge just yet...)I guess it makes me feel upset because I know what a fun and sweet boy he is. I want others to see that in him too...Pride?? I dont want him to miss out on having fun. Assumption?

We try to give him lots of opportunities to interact with other kids. We decided to sign him up for t-ball. He loves throwing balls, running, playing with friends on a well mowed field...it seemed like a perfect idea. He said he wanted to play. But then he went to the first practice. Lord help my nerves. Actually help Travis. He took him to the first practice. Of course he was excited being that he is a coach and loves sports-taking his son to his first ball practice! Well coach daddy was frustrated because our shy little boy refused to participate. He warmed up a bit and began to do a few things with the other children. He even has his favorite preschool friend on his team. I had to take him to the second practice. Oh My Lordy! Maybe I will not make a good baseball mom. I could not believe how paralyzed he is with shyness. He would hit the ball (in fact he was one of the best hitters on the team) but then REFUSE to run the bases. You can't score if you don't run!!! I am not kidding. I almost had to leave. I may or may not have threatened to cancel a trip to the park. Mother of the Year!

Well since this practice we have practiced playing more at home. We bought a set of bases to practice running. Travis has helped him practice catching, throwing and hitting. We have sang "Take me out to the Ballgame" and we even bought some Cracker Jacks for heaven sake!

But also since this practice, God has spoken to me about my sinfulness. Although some of my feelings are motivated by good intentions, I have realized that I am being prideful. I have thought about the truth-the reason the shyness makes me crazy is because I see it as a reflection of me. God created Tyson and gave him his personality. Now although it is my job to nurture him and provide him with guidance and opportunities, it is not my job to make him the same as me. As his parents Travis and I are to teach him to love God above all things. Our job is not to make him the best ball player, the fastest runner, the greatest reader in his class, the smartest mathematician... Deuteronomy 6 says "These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." In this chapter Moses is speaking. The commandment that he is refferring to is " ⁵ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." That is my job. I am to teach Tyson to love God...and if he does so shyly from the back pew of the church, that is OK. If he becomes the greatest t-ball player in the history of t-ball--that is ok too! But, not if he does not love God first!

So from now on I will  (try to) be the mom at the t-ball field relaxing and smiling. I will be proud of my boy because he is brave enough to hit the ball--even if he does not run. Because--(I hope that) I will remember that this is not the most important thing. I hope that I will put as much energy, excitement, and practice into teaching him about God as the desire I felt to make him run to first base. One day Tyson may no longer by shy. In fact--considering his genes (think Uncle Mike) he may be center of attention (be it at a party or perhaps behind a pulpit).  No matter what he becomes, however,  I will love and accept him for who he is, without pride or misguided intentions. I pray that I will always remember my most important job is to teach him to follow and serve the Lord who accepts each of us even if we are too shy to run the bases!



I do want to say, however, that I do not feel that paralyzing shyness and fear is God's desire for us. He wants us to enjoy this life he has given. He calls us to be bold in our faith, forthcoming and transparent in our communication with others. He commands that we share the gospel boldly.  He does not want us to live with a spirit of fear, rather with joy. I will seek to instill this in my sweet boy as I love him for who he is.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7

 "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6